Thursday, February 24, 2011

March 10, 2004 Killing Time and Discovery

Did you miss the earlier entries of The Beautiful Undead?
Prologue: Death at Dawn
TBU 1  This City Sucks
TBU 2/3/ What Happened Last Night?
TBU 4  Stange Things are Happening

March 10, 2004
It’s been awhile since I’ve written; I suppose I am terrible at this journal writing.  But here I am alone again so writing is something to do to kill time.  I don’t know what is worse sitting here alone again, or when I was being gawked at and hassled by perverts at SugarPlums. Well, I suppose being alone here in Von’s apartment is better. When I stepped out to get some food yesterday I saw Mitch, my ex-boss on the front of the New York Post, well, a photo of his body anyways.  It looked frightening.  His body was found basically in three pieces, his upper, his middle and his bottom.  It took longer than I thought for people to wonder about him. I didn’t want to buy a copy of the newspaper but I stood there at the newsstand reading the article. He was found near the dumpster with chunks of flesh ripped off his body. They don’t know who killed him.  

I feel weird being a part of someone’s death, even if he was an asshole.  
Later, when Von came home, I asked him if he saw the newspaper, he said he hadn’t, so I didn’t mention anything about Mitch’s discovery and his body in pieces. But I bet Von saw the paper and the article, and just didn’t want to talk about it.
I haven’t told my Dad or anyone about the attack, about Mitch or Von. Telling them would lead to more questions about school, why I got kicked out, working at SugarPlums, where I am living, what I am doing with my life, and I’d be falling deeper and deeper into lies. Dad would totally freak out and then James and Nick would come to NYC and pick me up in their truck, it would be so embarrassing, and I’d be back to the farm life or on my way to a local community college.  All they need to know is that I am ok. When I called Dad with my new phone number I had to lie. I told him I lost my phone on the subway. I didn’t tell him about changing my last name and the other details that would worry him. James and Nick sounded busy as usual on the phone, and little Mary Anne sounded sad, like she missed me.  I do feel bad for being so far away and leaving her with the boys.  She could probably use a female role model, although I doubt I’d be a good one. Considering I am involved with a murder and becoming a vampire.
The pain in my gums has gone down thankfully, and I am developing small fangs. It’s like my teeth are all becoming a little larger, and pointer and whiter.   Sometimes my mouth feels weird. Like my teeth don’t fit in my mouth. I am adjusting to the feel.  I find myself licking my lips a lot and rubbing my tongue against my teeth all the time.
To keep myself busy I’ve been reading and cleaning and running Von’s errands, and I’ve been snooping around Von’s apartment.   In one drawer I discovered a lot of pills and liquid capsules on strings of leather.  On his computer I found many pictures of the same woman with chin length dark hair and she is always wearing red lipstick. There are many photos of them together, intimate photos, some were even naked.  In the back of his closet I found lingerie, panties and many dresses, including two long gowns.  I’m still curious about these female items and this woman with chin length dark hair and red lipstick. Who is she? Where is she? Were these her clothes?
~Viv

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

February 19th, 2004 Almost midnight. Strange things are happening

If you have just got here, welcome to The Beautiful Undead series, if you missed Viv's very last journal entry which starts the series and features her death called Death at Dawn . Also, click here if you missed her very first journal entry called This City Sucks.  Or if you missed Viv figuring out what happened last night and how did she end up in Von's apartment, click here. Or scroll down :)  You can also read The Beautiful Undead at Figment.com: http://figment.com/books/7928-The-Beautiful-Undead


February 19th, 2004  Almost midnight.  Strange things are happening

So, it’s been over a week and I’m still here in Von’s apartment.  He keeps saying it will be safer if I stay at his place, but I have the feeling he just doesn’t want me to open my mouth and share the details of the night I got shot with anyone. He asked me every day since I’ve been here where I went and who I spoke to.  But typically I just stay in his apartment all day and typically there is absolutely no one I speak to. The longest conversation I’ve had is saying “Thank you” to the grocery store clerk when I couldn’t reach the pasta sauces on the top shelf.  Von has absolutely no food in the fridge besides the few things that I buy for myself.  He is never here to eat dinner with either.
I’m glad he leaves me about $60 a day to survive on.  But usually I don’t spend most of it and just leave it on the table.
Von had someone go to my shitty ex-apartment last week and collect my things. He basically demanded that I couldn’t do it.  I was sooo pissed. I mean having someone who you don’t know go to pick up your underwear and stuff, I felt really invaded. 
But, my stuff is here now. In 5 small cardboard boxes but even though it seems like I moved in, I still don’t feel like this is home.
My purse has its ritual spot and Von has even offered me his bed.

He sleeps on the couch, that is, when he does sleep which is rare. I never see him at night, I hardly see him at all, but I can’t help but wonder why he is being so nice to me.  I hope it’s not just from pity.   Maybe I shouldn’t worry so much and just trust fate but I wonder, I always do about everything. Like how I am supposed to act as a vampire now? How come I don’t feel a need for blood? Why is my body feeling so weird lately?
The first week after Von bit the bullet out of the back of my neck, my body felt sore and exhausted but now it feels strange. Not a bad strange, but a good strange.  
In the shower tonight my hands looked different.  They don’t look like my hands anymore. My nails have grown longer. They look more feminine and pretty. And my hair is different too. After my hair dried it looked 5 inches longer, and my teeth looked whiter too!
Strange things are happening. It’s like all those glamourized things I admired from a distance in the pages of Vogue of the famous and rich, are now mine. Long nails, shiny long hair, white teeth.  But, my gums, they’re killing me!  I took some Advil but it didn’t stop the pain.
I guess this is all because of Von’s bite to my neck. Maybe my body is getting a second chance or something and is transforming into a better me? 
I now have a new last name also.
One afternoon during my first week at Von’s I was looking through his bookshelf and noticed Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. I was lying on the couch almost asleep with the book on my lap when Von came home.  It was well past midnight.  I hadn’t seen him in days. I sat up and created enough room on the couch for him to sit. When he sat next to me he looked really gorgeous, his hair was slicked back and styled, but did he have a shine of lip-gloss on his lips? Was he with a girl?  Was it wrong for me to wonder?
Also did he have foundation or powder on his face?
Von stretched his arms behind him and yawned and mentioned how “They always want so much out of him.”  They?
Who is ‘They’?  I kept wondering but he seemed so tired and he was finally home, so I figured it was best to not ask a million questions about where he had been.
Then he put his head against my arm, of course I was shocked, but I liked him next to me. He smelled like a pine forest. His eyes wandered to the book in my lap. And then he said if he could have been any fictional character in literature he would have been Pip in Great Expectations.  It was kind of hard to believe that he had time to read, or could relate to such a downtrodden character but whatever. 
I mentioned how sad I thought it was that Miss Havisham was left at the altar, and that’s when Von said, “Perfect!”  I was kind of shocked by his excitement, because this moment he was so quiet, so stiff. But then he said, “Your last name should be Havish.”   I thought he was kidding, but he wasn’t.  He thought the V sound had an edge to it.   He liked it. 
Havish. Havish. Writing it feels so weird.
Vivian Havish. Viv Havish.  It does have a sort of intrigue about it.  Well, it’s already been done anyway. I went to the DMV right before they closed yesterday, so I’ll have my new ID soon, and Von said he would help get my other new personal documents.  He seems so connected, like he skips the line at Starbucks and no one even bitches.  I think he might even be a little famous in this town.
I’m so stupid, I haven’t even asked Von what his last name is, maybe it’s wrong to stay at someone’s apartment you barely know but something inside is telling me to stay and also I have a feeling Von won’t be letting me leave anytime soon. He says it's very important for me to stay at his place, at least until my fangs come in.
~Viv

Monday, January 3, 2011

February 8, 2004 8:34 a.m. What happened last night?

Click here you missed Viv's very last journal entry which starts the series and features her death called Death at Dawn 
And click here if you missed her very first journal entry called This City Sucks.


February 8, 2004   8:34 a.m.
The cash in my purse proves I made a shit load of money last night at SugarPlum’s.  But something happened, something bad.  I remember a gun shot, burning heat, and then an open mouth coming towards me with large white teeth.  And now I feel pain on the back of my neck, and there's a gash on my cheek and my jaw feels swollen.  I’m trying to remember the details but I can’t remember shit!  It seems like a dream.  Today I woke up on a strange couch. I was wearing this red robe. I had a flashback of the man with the white teeth bringing me here.  Then when I stood up to leave he appeared from the darkness. His face was all I could see. It was pale and his eyes were dark and his dark hair was slicked back. His said his name was Von and that last night he had helped me. Von sounded like the weirdest name ever.  When he spoke I could remember only pieces of what he told me last night, something about how the life I had lived before was gone. And now I’d have to start over.  
Von came closer and said I could never go back to my apartment and that my life was different now.  

I thought he was kidding, like it was a joke, and he was just trying to scare me.  I felt like I was being held hostage or something, because he wouldn’t let me leave.
I fell back to sleep for a little while on the couch and when I woke up Von was sitting next to me. He gave me a clear teacup with a real red rose pedal floating in it and said it was his favorite tea.  It was pretty and smelled good, and for a moment I thought he was being romantic. It wasn’t every day that a man made me tea. But I quickly learned he was just being nice.  Von told me that the tea would help with my pain and the transformation.  For a moment I was kind of worried the tea was actually poison or something since his eyes never left me and he made sure I drank it all. He said I needed time to heal from the attack.
Von’s apartment is very dark, since there are dark curtains blocking the sun and dark walls and dark colored furniture, it’s kind of like a cave.   But it’s cozy here actually, I don’t want to leave. It’s freezing outside. Especially since I’m still kind of out of it.
What is strange is that Von was wearing sunglasses inside. And he told me not to go near the window since it would hurt my raw skin.  I thought he was kidding and laughed.  That’s when Von took off his sunglasses.  I could see his grey eyes, long, long lashes, soft lips and pale glowing skin.  He spoke even more seriously and told me he was a vampire and then said that I was now a vampire.  It was kind of funny. It didn’t make sense. How could I be dancing at Sugarplum’s less than 8 hours ago and now be a vampire? It just doesn’t fully make sense.
But Von said over time it would make sense and that I might one day be thankful for my extra time here.
I also thought it was funny that we both had names with a V.  But Von didn’t seem to care. He was so serious, didn’t smile, and was quick and short with his words. He said I could keep my first name, but changing my last name would be a good idea since the cops might be looking for me to question me about last night.  
Von told me I would remember the attack over time, and that I would probably have nightmares of it forever. Oh great!
So, I am on his couch and trying to think of a new last name today. Von says he knows someone at the DMV that can help me get a new ID and new social security card quickly.  He said I might want to consider getting a passport.    
I’ve sat here all day and I’m rested, but where is he? Shit! I don’t even have his cell phone number. Damn! I don’t even have my cell phone; I must have lost it last night. It's probably gone forever.

~Viv

February 8, 2004   11:34 p.m. 
When Von came home tonight I found out some details about the attack. 
Basically last night was crazy.  I almost died. If it wasn’t for him, I would be dead.
Von told me he was walking down the alleyway next to SugarPlum’s and he could see a man fondling a girl in the distance. Me.  He said the man was balding, had a goatee, and was wearing a leather jacket. Based on Von’s description I am pretty sure the man was Mitch, my boss. That fucker tried to rape me!   Then I started to remember the night more clearly. I had tried to keep $200 I owed the club since Mitch always seemed to stiff me by sending me to his friends who never tipped. I wasn’t just some slut for these jackasses to play with.  One had asked me to even go down on him, yuck, fucking pricks.  I told Mitch about it at the end of my shift, but he hadn’t given a shit, and was actually mad at me. For disrespecting his prick friends!  I probably called him an asshole or something because I remember now that on the way out we ended up bitching in the back alleyway.  That’s when Mitch slammed me against the brick wall.  He had hit me across the face and his hands went places I did not want them to go. But I guess that wasn’t enough for him.
Von told me that by the time he had reached me, Mitch had already shot me in the back of my neck and I was lying in the snow with a faint pulse, and I was choking on my blood, just waiting to die.   

But Von had sucked the bullet out of me.  He told me it was from a Beretta .380 pistol, Von pointed to the side table where the pistol was laying on it.  The bullet was next to it. The pistol had been sitting there all day and I had not even noticed it.  Von said he grabbed it from Mitch’s hands while in the process of getting rid of him. Von said Mitch is gone and he won’t be back.  Von probably killed him. Threw him in a dumpster or something. Ate him.  I don’t even want to know.  The pistol grip is wood and has an owl carved on it. And although the pistol had just about killed me, it’s kind of cute and the owl wood carving is unique, and I want to keep it and Von said I could have it.
The more Von spoke about the attack, the more I remembered.
I remember lying in the cold snow, shivering even though every cell in my body was burning from being shot. I remembered Von’s mouth coming near me, his venom seeping into my flesh, the back of my neck feeling hot like fire and then darkness.
Von said there was a lot of blood gushing out of my neck. But he had already gotten his blood fix for the evening and didn’t want to leave me in the snow like that.  He carried me back to his place. He didn’t ask if I had wanted to live when he saved me.  But tonight after he told me all this, he asked if it was ok that he saved my life?
I really didn’t know what to say.
A lot has happened in less than 24 hours and I believe in fate and timing. Like being in the right place at the right time. And I am young and there is more to do, I just don’t know what I want to do. Or what I am supposed to do now.
I thought my life was over, but it seems like it’s actually just begun.  
~Viv